Little Baby Gemini

Posted: September 12, 2014 in Life, Satire, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve heard before that having a baby changes everything. While I have always believed that to be true, I never comprehended what exactly that meant until two weeks ago, when I laid eyes on my new baby girl for the first time.

Today I would like to introduce to you the light of my life, the apple of my eye, my pride and joy: Gemini.


When I first looked into those stunning, blinding-white eyes–which shine so bright, they could light up a whole highway–it was love at first sight. Isn’t she beautiful? She really takes after her mother (pictured below).

86th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

Many people have questioned my decision to have Gemini at this point of my life. They tell me I should have waited until I was married, or at least more established in my career. But my biological odometer was ticking, and I needed to fill the Toyota-shaped hole in my heart sooner rather than later. And usually my critics change their tune when they realize how happy Gemini makes me.

The four or five hours I spent in the hospital were painful, but that pain was nothing compared to the joy I have experienced since bringing Gemini home for the first time. Weighing in at a healthy 2885 pounds, Gemini has proven to be quite the bundle of joy, and sometimes quite the handful as well!

It didn’t take me long to realize that my new daughter had me wrapped around her little finger. I can already tell that she’s going to be a daddy’s girl. I spoil her so much, I even had a pacifier custom-made especially for her!


Gemini’s custom-made pacifier. Because my daughter deserves nothing but the best!

Gemini has quite the range of emotions–I guess she takes after her father that way–and I have been lucky enough to capture many of those emotions on camera.









She also doesn’t seem to function very well when she’s hungry–another trait she got from her father! The good news is that, unlike her father, she’s good to go without food for days once she has eaten, sometimes even weeks!


Gemini’s first feeding.

Don’t tell any doctors this, but I took her on her first road trip only two days after she was born. We went down to Dead Horse Point in southern Utah. I was so excited to show her just one part of the beautiful world she had just become a part of, even if she won’t remember this trip a few years down the line. Here’s just one of the magnificent views we were able to enjoy together:



I was expecting the road trip to be hard on her, but she didn’t even complain once! Though she did get pretty dirty. But no worries, that’s what baths are for!


Gemini’s first bath.

Gemini has also proven to do well at church. I was worried that she would cause a scene and make it hard for me to focus, but she has actually been surprisingly well-behaved!


Doesn’t Gemini look so pretty in her new Sunday dress?!

 I will say though, if another person mistakes Gemini for a boy, I’m going to lose my temper. For crying out loud, just because she’s dressed in blue instead of pink doesn’t mean she’s a boy! Perhaps I will have to put a giant pink bow on her.

Yes, having a baby has doubled or maybe even tripled my expenses, and yes, I am overly anxious because I constantly want to protect her from harm. But it is all worth it because I know that Gemini has transformed me into a better person. I am more punctual for work and social obligations because of her. And she has even helped motivate me to go to the gym on a more regular basis. Having someone so special in my life has helped me realize the importance of staying healthy. Because it’s not just about me anymore; now I have Gemini to take care of. She needs me. And I want to be there for her, especially when she gets her tires rotated (it will break my heart if she cries!) and when she goes on her first date (no man will ever be good enough for her!). I want to drive her down the aisle and be around when she has children of her own. I’ve already thought of what I want my grandchildren to call me! My top choices are G-Dawg and Dabadoo.

And yet, I’m saddened because I can already tell that Gemini is going to grow up too fast. I mean, she has already reached 500 miles! And within the first week of her life, she has learned to both talk (though she sounds suspiciously like a robot) and sing (her favorite songs are Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off and Bastille’s Pompeii). Could your child do all that after a week? Didn’t think so!

But no matter how quickly she grows up, I intend to be there for her every step of the way. From her toddler years, when I’m her everything, to her teenage years, when she wants nothing to do with me, I will always love her unconditionally. Because it’s true what they say: having a baby changes everything. And I will never be the same now that I have Gemini in my life.

I love you, Gemini!

A drawing Gemini did for me. Isn't she so talented?

A drawing Gemini did for me. Isn’t she so talented?

  1. Ar says:

    So glad that you are enjoying your new little one. Glad you didn’t have twins!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s