Two Guys and a Katy Perry Concert

Posted: October 21, 2014 in Friendship, iPhone, Katy Perry, Life, Satire, Uncategorized
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It all started when I was casually browsing through my Instagram feed at church–sorry, did I say church? I meant during my lunch break at work–and I stumbled upon a close-up picture of a certain Katy Perry (you might not have heard of her, but she’s a pretty obscure musician who has one or two moderate hits) that my best friend had posted. Now, anyone who really knows me knows that  I have a not-so-secret crush on Katy Perry. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the aforementioned Instagram picture sparked the following conversation (please disregard the excessive use of the teenage-girl colloquialism “LOL”):











The rest, as they say, was history. Before I knew it, the plans were in motion for my friend and me to make this Katy Perry concert work. It wasn’t long, however, before these plans dug up some unresolved tension that had built between us over our 19 years of friendship.

You see, there has been at least one occasion when my friend and I both liked the same girl. The results were not pretty. Just kidding, nothing really happened. Neither of us is prone to drama (at least, not anymore… but that’s a story for a different blog post), and I have a pretty good talent of making myself not like someone if I need to, so it was all very anticlimactic. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but be reminded of that occasion when the following conversation ensued:







Was our mutual love for Katy Perry going to tear us apart? Only time would tell. Spoiler alert: it only brought us closer together.

I have learned over the years that mutual celebrity crushes, particularly on female singers, have an unexplainable knack for helping me bond with male friends. But as you could tell from the above text message exchange, Katy Perry was more than just a celebrity crush for me. We in fact have a history together, one that she has tried to keep under wraps because she says I’m the most embarrassing mistake she’s ever made, which I realize of course is code for “I love you so much it hurts sometimes, so I need to let you go.”

It was therefore with some trepidation that I approached this concert. Not only did I have suspicions that it might not actually work out, but I was also afraid that Katy would see me in the crowd, thereby causing her to remember our torrid past.

The weeks dragged on as I dreaded what was sure to be a contentious reunion with my ex. Despite all that, however, I was excited to see my best friend again.

One great thing about seeing such great friends is that, even though it might have been months or even years since you have seen each other, you can jump right back into the groove of the friendship and feel like no time has passed at all. Indeed, it feels like very little has changed over the years, even though of course everything has changed. To prove that point, here is a picture from the beginning of our friendship:

friendship beginning


And then a picture taken right before the concert:


Yep, not much has changed, except we have graduated from Jungle Jim’s to a Katy Perry concert–as one naturally does–and also we have more reasonable haircuts these days.

We waited on the edge of our seats for the concert to start. Actually, we weren’t sitting, so that would have been difficult. But needless to say, we were excited. After two hours of opening acts (which included a rousing rendition of “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie), the lights dimmed, the crowd cheered, and Katy Perry literally ascended from under the stage. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, Katy Perry appeared, triumphant and proud, out of a rising pyramid that brought her into view of the thousands of people waiting to see her perform.



The rest of the evening passed in a blur of dark horses, fireworks, and teenage dreams. In case you were wondering, yes, she is better in concert than she is in her TV appearances. I might or might not have found myself singing along to her songs, which I knew much better than I’d care to admit. I resisted the temptation to dance (for the most part), however, out of fear that I would look like this:



Unfortunately, it became very obvious very quickly that Katy wasn’t quite ready to forgive and forget for the mistakes I made while we were together. She blatantly refused to make eye contact with me throughout the show, and when she reached down to hold hands with people in the crowd, she kept pulling her hand back to keep me from grabbing it. I showed her, though, because I ended up grabbing her arm, screaming like a fangirl and almost pulling her off the stage in the process. After that, she didn’t even come near my section of the audience again. Ugh, get over it, Katy. We broke up YEARS ago! I’ve moved on. It’s time you move on too.


Oh well. It is what it is. I can’t help that I’m so lovable and attractive! If Katy can’t get over me, that’s her problem, not mine.

Aside from Katy’s obvious beef with me, the concert was a fun and memorable experiences. So to finish off this post, here are some of the best pictures I took throughout the night:






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