Stock Photos and Infomercials: Weapons in the Ongoing War Against Boredom

Posted: April 30, 2016 in Date Ideas, Infomercials, Life, Satire, Stock Photos
Tags: , , , , ,

My wife and I were recently trying to figure out what we could do for a last-minute date. We were having a difficult time coming up with any ideas, so I googled “Date ideas for Salt Lake City.”

The results were somewhat depressing, and when I came across a website that listed “Get a speeding ticket” as a date idea, I closed my internet browser and gave up on life. You know you live in a boring place when speeding tickets are considered one of the “fun things” you can do there.

bored now

 

 

 

 

 

Luckily, not all hope is lost.

Have you ever noticed how happy people look in stock photos and infomercials? Clearly these people know something that I don’t. So if you feel like you live in a truly boring place like I do, here are some tips for keeping yourself entertained, as presented by what I have come to see as the greatest weapons we have in the war against boredom:

1. Clean

cleaning

I always thought cleaning was a terrible chore, but look at how much fun these ladies are having cleaning their bathroom wall!

2. Move

75272_stock-photo-happy-couple-moving-house

If you’re feeling especially bored, why don’t you just pack all of your stuff and move to a different house? This couple proves that a day of moving can turn into a day of fun!

3. And do ballet while you unpack at your new place

traveller_11_by_dazzle_stock-d61jjpr

Some people say that unpacking is even worse than packing, but those people have clearly never performed mad ballet moves while removing their belongings from suitcases and boxes.

4. Balance food on your head

breadhead

This one really goes without saying.

5. Use cake as a pillow

cake

Tired of eating birthday cake? Use the cake as a pillow instead!

6. Take a pregnancy test

happy-couple-pregnancy-test-young-bedroom-30951066

You don’t need to actually be pregnant or even a woman in order to enjoy the perks of taking a pregnancy test!

7. Have a Snuggie dance party

snuggie dance

You’ve heard of dance parties, but what about Snuggie Dance Parties™? Throw on your Snuggie, blast your favorite tunes, and dance the day away! This is a perfect way to make other people jealous of how cool you are.

8. Jump on your bed with a giant teddy bear

teddy bear

And dress seductively of course!

9. Use a lint roller on your loved ones

lint roller

Look at the smug smirk on that woman’s face. Clearly she knows she will never be bored again as long as she has a lint roller in hand.

10. Brush your teeth as a family

10096134-Portrait-of-a-happy-family-brushing-their-teeth-together-Stock-Photo

Brushing your teeth together is the perfect way to bring your family closer together. It can also resolve conflicts between roommates– after all, you can’t yell at somebody if your mouth is full of toothpaste!

Living on your own? Have no fear! You can still reap the benefits of brushing your teeth with other people. Just invite some random strangers from the street to come inside and brush their teeth with you!

11. Put sticky notes all over yourself

post its

As you can see from this picture, covering yourself in sticky notes creates a feeling that is nothing short of pure bliss.

12. Take glamor shots with a piece of bread

weird_stock_photos_that_make_absolutely_no_sense_640_12

If you have just decided to cut gluten out of your diet, this is the perfect thing to do with your leftover bread!

13. Bury yourself in strawberries

stock-photo-young-girl-beauty-face-with-red-ripe-fresh-strawberries-254031772

When it comes to taste, strawberries are questionable at best. Are they tart or are they sweet? They can never seem to decide! But judging by the look on this woman’s face, strawberries are by far the best fruit to bury yourself in! You wouldn’t see somebody smiling like that while buried in a bunch of bananas, that’s for sure.

14. Dress up as a watermelon

watermelon-costume-for-adults-cx-808604a

It doesn’t have to be Halloween for you to dress up as your favorite fruit. Why not wear this costume for a night on the town? It’s guaranteed to make your evening more interesting.

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Comments
  1. Kevin says:

    I’m into keeping the family together (there are only so many handcuffs and locked doors you can have) so I vote for the family brushing their teeth together.

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