Seven years ago, almost to this day, I said goodbye to my hometown of Litchfield Park, Arizona, and moved to Provo, Utah, so I could start college. Here I am on that life-changing day:
Look at me. So full of hopes and dreams… not to mention gas from the bad tacos I had eaten earlier.
Much has happened since this picture was taken. For one thing, those bananas on the bed have either been eaten or thrown away by this point. And the portable fan on the desk? I have no idea where it is. Which makes me sad… a guy could really use a nice fan like that during these hot summer days. But oh well–this is not a tribute to my missing fan. I shall save that for another day!
The point is that I moved to Provo that day looking for a new adventure: to start a new phase of my life, and to get that mythical “college degree” I had heard so many good things about.
Seven years later, and I can safely say that I’ve had my fair share of Provo living to last me for a lifetime. Today, I’m moving on! And I couldn’t be more excited.
I’m not moving far, mind you… just to Salt Lake, which is about 45 minutes north of Provo. But for anyone familiar with the Utah area, Salt Lake is a completely different world from Provo, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned. So yes, I’m leaving Provo, and I am NEVER COMING BACK!
Actually, I lied. I am coming back, because I have a job in Provo, so it’s kind of unavoidable. But as far as living in Provo again… NEVER! I’ve done my time, and I’M MOVIN’ ON!
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t completely hate Provo. It has its perks, and there will be certain things about leaving here. I will miss only having to travel 5 to 10 minutes to get to work. I will miss being able to go to Sodalicious (Provo’s version of a drive-thru bar, where you can buy a soda and add any shot of flavor you could possibly imagine) whenever I want, and exercising will-power to make sure I don’t go there every day. I will miss some of the people too.
But Provo, if you’re reading this, I will NOT miss the bad drivers that seem to gravitate to you likes magnets to a fridge. I will NOT miss being stuck living in what people refer to as “the bubble. That is NOT a fat joke, Provo–I know how sensitive you can be– it’s just that living with you feels like I’m trapped and cut off from the rest of the world. You’re smothering me, and I NEED MAH SPACE! So it’s time for me to move on. And I swear, on my late goldfish’s grave, that Provo’s apartments will never be graced with my residence again.
I will also NOT miss seeing people getting engaged left and right after only knowing their significant others for 10 seconds. Come on Provo, everybody knows that you should know somebody for at least TWO MINUTES before deciding to marry them! Has Disney taught you nothing at all?? This is why we can’t have nice things!
Shame on you, Provo. Mary Poppins judges you!
If I sound a little jaded toward Provo, I apologize. It really has been a good home to me for the past seven years. It’s just there comes a time in everybody’s life when you have to move on from something you love, whether it be a toxic relationship, or your favorite restaurant that accidentally served one too many fingers in their salad, or a town that you’ve lived in for maybe just a bit too long. And this is why Provo, baby, I dedicate this song to you:
“Please believe me, this isn’t easy. I just need to say goodbye.”
Obviously I care enough about Provo to write a blog about it, so you should take my hateful words with a grain of salt. I will always remember Provo as the setting for some of the most important events of my life. It’s where I met some of the most important people in my life. I also learned my most valuable life lessons here, and even though some of those lessons were almost too painful to bear, I am glad to say I’m leaving Provo as a much stronger, happier, and more confident version of myself than I was when I first moved here seven years ago.
And now, my friends, if you will excuse me… it’s time for me to stop blogging and start moving. See you soon, Salt Lake City… I’m coming for you! But not in a creepy way… more like this:
Oh, What a Life 